put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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