I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
