So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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