I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Randomize