Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
