Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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