and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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