She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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