Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
All I want is dick and wine.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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