Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
wow bdsm is so cute
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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