i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
