"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
