Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
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I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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