Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
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But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
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Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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