i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
