So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Don't make out with my wife yet
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
