OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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