I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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