Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize