Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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