Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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