You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
