So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
