Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session