youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.