they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night