paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
