You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
