you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
