but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
