wanna go halves on a baby?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
