Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
