I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
