Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
