you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
