In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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