you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
