I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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