I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
