I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize