Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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