Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
