just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize