Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
BRING THE BAGELS
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize