And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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