This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
