As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
