nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
