forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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