I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize