one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
No subtext here. People are naked.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
