My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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