They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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