My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I am one with the molecules
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
