Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
