He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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