Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think your dad took our porno
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
We need to feng shui this bitch.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
