he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
