at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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