i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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