God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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