He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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