Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
